RCMP ARE LIKE RUSSIAN GOONS, SAYS COP SHRINK

RCMP Belong in Russia, says one of their own contractors

Mike Webster is a respected police psychologist, with a worldwide reputation, who has worked many, many times for Canada’s national cop force, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Mr. Webster has made piles of bucks from RCMP assignments. Even today, the noted criminal psychologist is under contract for a year to the RCMP. Yet this week, in Vancouver, testifying at the British Columbia inquiry into the RCMP deadly misuse of tasers, Mr. Webster himself said:

“Being a member of the RCMP today is like being part of Putin’s Russia; they don’t tolerate any opinion that doesn’t reflect the party line.”

Webster also said: “I’m embarrassed to be associated with organizations that taser sick old men in hospital beds and confused immigrants who are arriving in this country.”

I include that quote today specifically for the emailers who called me to task for branding the RCMP as a bunch of fumbling, drop-pants fascist bullies. I don’t make their Nazi shenanigans up, folks. They are bursting into hospital rooms to electro-fry senior citizens in their beds! It is happening.

You elected Stephen Harper’s Conservatives and you got secretive, sneaky, control-freak fascists, who now wish to monitor and then control everything from the Prime Minister’s Office. Democratic debate be damned.

And you did it, Canada. It is your fault. And, come the next election, it is up to you, Canadian voters, to do something about the gasping quilt of control under which Stephen Harper wants to smother your basic human rights. This upcoming election might have saved us from these born-again Conservative brainstems, had the Liberals elected a winnable leader. But they did not. The little boys and girls at the last Liberal convention chose the federally unelectable Stéphane Dion, a twerpy FuckLips who garbles English like a retarded squirrel, a fidgetty wimpule genetically incapable of leadership - a fault Canadians saw immediately.

Sure, there was an electable leader standing right in front of the convention delegates. But Liberals did not like Michael Ignatieff. He was too smart. One of them there uppity thinkers. A leader of thought and action. Geez, he might do stuff. Shee-it! Well, how have you enjoyed the dithery do-nothing spectacle of Dion trapped almost every Parliamentary day in his own full diapers, in shit of his own making, as a useless and silly opposition leader? Fun, eh? By the way, check out this news story:

"Canadians make list of top thinkers

Peter O'Neil, Canwest News Service

Published: Saturday, May 17, 2008

PARIS - Liberal deputy leader Michael Ignatieff is among four Canadians named on a list of the world's 100 top public thinkers. The ranking was done jointly by the Washington, D.C.-based magazine Foreign Policy and the British magazine Prospect.

The four Canadians are on a list dominated by U.S. and United Kingdom-based "public intellectuals" that includes Pope Benedict XVI, former U.S. vice-president and climate change crusader Al Gore, Czech statesman and playwright Vaclav Havel, British novelist Salman Rushdie and American linguist Noam Chomsky.

"(The list is) of the men and women who shape the tenor of our time with the power of their thoughts, words and discoveries," Foreign Policy explained in its May-June edition."

Now, back to Ottawa reality:

Let’s return to Stephen Harper’s frenzy to control everything in Canada, including the RCMP. One of Harper’s ploys to silence the RCMP was to appoint “The Muzzle,” soulless, beefy William Elliott as a civilian Commissioner of the RCMP. Pod person Elliott was sent in to shut those mouthy cops up and also – supposedly – to reform totally a police force mired in corruption and faulty leadership. William Elliott has failed. Along the pissy pathway to his ignominy Elliott has, of course, managed to defend tasers absolutely. Elliott has shown himself to be a smarmy, two-faced, lying Harperette, an ass-kisser of the most abject station, a cringing lickspittle yes-man to the PMO. He is not anything Canada can be proud of. Elliott is everything that is wrong with “lifer” public servants. He is one of those time-servers who has tongue-radar — he can zero in on prime-ministerial anus in the dark and blindfolded.

When huge numbers of Canadians asked our leaders to outlaw tasers, what was Elliott’s answer? Screw you, Canada is the gist of what Elliott said. The RCMP intends to keep zapping everyone in sight, sneered Beefy Billy.

Meanwhile, back at the inquiry in Vancouver this week, psychologist Webster unveiled a sordid tale of the RCMP using cowardly blackmail and telephonic bullying. When the police psychologist made public his criticisms of RCMP taser bungling, Webster got sneaky calls, first from the head mountie in B.C. and then from some threatening mountie at RCMP HQ in Ottawa, both bigwig cops warning him that, if he did not shut up with the anti-taser comments to the press, he would lose all his RCMP psychologist contracts.

My God. That RCMP strong-arm threat is exactly what Secret Police do in parts of the world that Canadians like to think Canada will never stoop to imitate nor dwindle to become. Well, open your eyes, Canucks! Under the oppressive dictatorship of Prime Minister for Life, Commandant Harper, that kind of scary, middle-of-the-night terror is precisely what is happening here.

Of course, it can’t go too far because we are safe in the competent hands of Stockwell Day, Minister of Public Safety, an intellectual of independent mind who seldom takes a phonecall of persuasion from the PMO. Right?

Dirty, Cowardly RCMP GOON COPS TASER OLD MAN IN HIS HOSPITAL BED

Friday, May 9, 2008 | 1:33 AM ET

Killer Mounties Electro-Fried A Heart-Surgery Patient, A Grandfather, While He Lay in his Hospital Bed

copyright 2008 CBC News (only the paragraphs below are CBC news copy. All headlines and comment below the news story are by Bill Casselman)

"An elderly man in Kamloops, B.C., was zapped three times on the torso by a police stun gun while lying on his hospital bed, CBC News has learned.

Frank Lasser, 82, appeared fragile Thursday when he showed the Taser marks on his body and talked about the ordeal he went through Saturday.

"They [police] should have known I had bypass surgery," Lasser told CBC News.

Lasser has had heart surgery and needs to carry an apparatus to supply oxygen at all times. He was in the Royal Inland Hospital Saturday due to pneumonia but has since been released.

RCMP said nurses called police after Lasser became delirious and pulled a knife out of his pocket.

Lasser told CBC News that he sometimes becomes delusional when he can't breathe properly. He said he couldn't explain why he refused to let go of the knife even after the Mounties arrived."

(end of CBC item)

...............................................................................

Bill Casselman asks:

How Long, Canada, Will You Put Up with

Fascist Nazi Police Tactics from our Sleazoid Mounties?

The Shame of Canada Continues to French-Fry Our Innocent Citizens, while our approving Conservative bully government looks on, beaming with born-again Alliance pleasure.

When will this stop?

Prime Minister Stephen Harper nods his great, somnolent buffalo head and just smiles his feeding-shark smile and approves of our out-of-control Killer Mounties.

Obviously RCMP Commissioner "Useless" Bill Elliott has done nothing to rein in the brutal criminal elements festering inside our disgraced national p0lice force. Tell Harper to boot Elliott's fat ass out.

Citizens of Canada, I ask you:

Do you think it will be safe to travel across Canada this summer?

What if you meet a Mountie on your vacation?

Will you or your children escape without Taser Welts all over your bodies?

What if you hiccup while a Mountie is at your car door trying to terrorize you because of a minor traffic infraction? Every Mountie knows how dangerous a hiccupping toddler can be to an armed officer of the law.

TASER!!!!!!!

Will your son and daughter get zapped for --what--eating a popsicle? Too much lip?

TASER!!!!!!!

You think these are mere hysterical questions?

You dare to ask a question!

TASER!!!!!!

Ask heart-patient Frank Lasser. Ask all the Canadian dead murdered by RCMP Tasers in the last few years.

Only citizens can stop this insanity. Prime Minister Stephen Harper just laughs at your fear and terror as the RCMP dwindles into a wild posse of fascist, psycho, head-clubbing, wantonly tasering goons. Why should Steve care? We know who is protecting Harper's family, don't we? RCMP goons. That's who. Canadian citizens get tasered, while Harper and his family have the RCMP opening doors for them.

Is that the Canada you want?

How long before a citizen stepping politely up to Stephen Harper to offer a letter of suggestion gets his arm tasered off by some barbarous yoyo in a red coat?

Don't sit still like passive slugs and permit the RCMP to squish you.

Write your federal MP today and bid them start legislation through Parliament now to outlaw tasers in Canada and to get rid of pussyfooting RCMP Commissioner Prissy Bill Elliott and to put in charge someone who is going to make the Mounties "shape up."

Shit ! RCMP Commissioner Elliott Gets Tasered & Lives

RCMP Commissioner Elliott Gets Tasered

Want More Proof That RCMP Commissioner Wild Bill Elliott is a Nincompoop? Read on.

Last week the prestigious Journal of the Canadian Medical Association devoted its lead editorial to the fatal danger of tasers.

Writing in one of the most respected medical journals of our country, Dr. Matthew Stanbrook, assistant professor, researcher and specialist in respirology at the Toronto Western Hospital reminded Canadians that more than 300 people in North America, including 20 in Canada, have died soon after being tasered.

Accompanying a peer-reviewed journal article, Dr. Stanbrook, in his editorial overview, laughed at the research that shows tasers are "safe," basically called it corporate bullshit and reminded us that almost all the research that shows tasers are safe was funded in toto by the company that manufactures and sells tasers to lazy cops all over the world, Taser International. Gosh, maybe we should believe big companies, like Exxon? After all, they are reliable, competent honest folk – like Bear Stearns. Multinational conglomerates would never poison our children and then sell their corpses back to us as fertilizer.

Would they?

Well...not yet.

No Such Medical Condition as “Excited Delirium”

The real doctor reminded us that the stun-gun company’s claim that taser victims die of “excited delirium” is pure hooey. Utter twaddle. There does not exist one page of scientific proof that any such death ever happened - even once.

There is no recognized medical condition called “excited delirium.”

It is pseudo-medical bullshit made up by the company to flog its death-ray stun gun that fatally zaps your heart’s electrical patterns, especially when the moronic cops electrocute you three or four times with their death-rays. Dr. Stanbrook says there are no medical statistics at all showing that in clinical situations delirious people die of “excitation.”

Such an etiology does not exist in legitimate medical records. This is the company lying to us so we’ll shut up and let the cowardly cops keep frying fellow citizens.

Brave Response by RCMP Commissioner

A day or two after this CMA journal article, guess what William Elliott, Commissioner of the RCMP, does?

Just what Canada expects of this Stephen-Harper-appointed buffoon.

Elliott has himself tasered “to show that it is perfectly safe.”

Also tasered at the same time as the adiposity-challenged Elliott is Alberta’s solicitor-general, smiling Fred Lindsay.

Both of the sneaky political hacks survive their taserings. Elliott refuses to say what the taser felt like. What a Spartan stud! After the RCMP Commissioner was tasered, witnesses and bystanders did report miasmatic effluvia which government smellometers later confirmed was the acrid reek of burnt bacon.

Actually Elliott decided that, as soon as his anus deflated (it swelled up after his tasering) Elliott promised he would stop renting himself out as a life buoy for navy swim lessons.

The meepish Albertan solicitor-general however confessed that it was the most horrible pain he ever felt in his life. Oh yeah, Fred? Just wait until the next election, pal, when the dead duck count has reached into the hundreds of thousands. When your Alberta government has poisoned every Mallard duck that tries to fly over the toxic tailings ponds that now infest northern Alberta, you, Freddy Baby, will be a dog-catcher in Lethbridge, unless you are in jail with the environment-murdering Stelmach gang -- as an accomplice to crimes against Canada’s wildlife.

It is well worth Canadians reading the anti-taser editorial in the recent journal of the CMA, just as it behooves concerned Canadians to think about the infantile and inane response of William Elliott, the zap-happy dipstick appointed by Stephen Harper to renew and return to competence our grievously inept, national stumblebum goon-squad, the RCMP.

And some Canadians want to give Harper another 4 years to run Canada the way John McCain might?

What Does Stephen Harper Not Get?

(1)

Stevie does not seem to realize that we elected him not only to do what is best on behalf of Canadians, but also to listen to Canadians.

The Prime Minister of Canada must listen to those who elected him.

Harper keeps forgetting we elected him to do our will, not his.

Harper and the rightwing frothers he has gathered about him seem to think electoral victory is a blanket invitation to plunge the country back into a nineteenth century punitive religious morality, to a patriarchal dictatorship where male elders decide what is best for women, unelected men and children, a retrograde Vic Toews sort of world where thieves have their hands chopped off, where divinely ordained authority (e.g. Prime minister Harper) must never be questioned and must never admit error. It's such a stupid stance! Why obsessional ass-covering is the city sport of Ottawa escapes my analysis. What would happen if the PMO said, even once, we made a mistake - - -and here's how we are going to correct it. ?

Canadians, hold not your breath.

The Taser Question?

There Is No Taser Question.

It does not matter a whit that the fascist freak squad of Canadian police chiefs want tasers.

We, the Canadian people, have made it plain that we do NOT want tasers in Canada.

It is that simple. Normal Canadians don’t like tasers. So carry out our wishes, Prime Minister. Outlaw them. On this democratic question, stop listening only to rightwing lazy cops. Canadians do not want to be electroprodded like errant cattle - no matter what OPP Provinzleiter Julian Fantino thinks. Ontarians are NOT in Mussolini's Italia or Hitler's Deutschland.

But Harper seems impervious to any reversal of an opinion. Why can't he show us that he is capable of moderating obdurate personal beliefs and listen to the people?

Freakazoid power-trippers like Ontario’s OPP Commandant Julian Fantino shake their withered wattles on TV every chance they get, whining for bigger guns, more bazookas, more macro-zappers, stun guns, howitzers on Yonge Street. They just don’t get it. We don't want AK-47s shouldered at Loblaws.

Watching that pathetic bobblehead Fantino drooling out his OPP fantasies to put more and more and more Canadians in jail is now tiresome.

Fantino belongs in a rocking chair on the porch at the Pauline Johnson Home for Retired Beavers.

(2)

Polls show that most Canadians don’t like Stephen Harper.

One of the reasons is Harper’s unmovability.

He won’t listen to his country and change his mind and his policy.

So Harper must go. We gotta get Mr. Potato Head out of Ottawa.

----------------------------------------------------

Don’t Taser My Relatives,

pleads Expert

On Monday, May 5, 2008, on the first day of the Braidwood Inquiry into the use of tasers in British Columbia, J. Patrick Reilly, a researcher and electrical engineer at Johns Hopkins University, stated the scientific facts (not the cop and company myths and lies) about the stun gun’s injuring effects on the fragile human body and how anyone tasered could die after being shocked.

While Reilly said the probability of death is small, he would never want to be jolted by the device. "I wouldn't want to be tased myself and I wouldn't want a family member to be tased," he testified.

Note the emergence of a grisly new verb in the fatality family of words, “to be tased.” Taser was first a noun, then a verb. But I think the shorter verb form is more apt. "Tase" has the more prolonged sound of fizzling crackling human flesh accompanied by the sickening electric zap and, over the taser victim's scream of agony, the soft underlaugh of a smirking cop who has subdued yet another human being in his long cop-bully's life of humiliating others and making them crawl on their bellies like lowly reptiles.

Yes, it makes a feller proud to be a cop.

What do imagine makes bullies go into police work?

Are they guys born with teeny weenies, as the psychiatric literature reports, and all cop work is mere compensatory striving to be normal? Many future cops were kid wimps, bossed and beaten senseless by brute fathers. So, when they grow up and get their badge, they stomp around their bailiwicks looking to give evildoers what they got as kids. As for women cops? Everybody knows they are all diesel dykes. After the cowardly lesbians have smashed a granny's skull, what do they do with their billyclubs? Guess. But keep in mind that dildoes are not cheap.

Want to stop the taser? Write your federal MP and tell him to have the government of Canada outlaw tasers NOW.

Don't let Canada's lazy cops and RCMP murderers and rich gun companies win. Don't let these cowards turn Canada into the gun-crazy nightmare of the USA! And that is now happening right before your eyes. The Stephen Harper government of Canada wants teachers packing revolvers in Grade 5.

Maybe Steve could have Charlton Heston brought back to life as Federal Security Inspector of Canadian Schools? Is that your Canada?

Get rid of tasers and the Conservative dinosaurs and liars who promote their use.

Canada does NOT need tasers.

Remedy for Olympic Torch Protest Found !

Safer! Once inserted, the Olympic suppository is protected from pro-Tibetan hooligans along the glorious route

Eco-Friendly! No nasty torch oil or propane is burned to produce a flimsy Olympic flame. The only burning is anal.

Hidden! What protesters can’t see, they will soon forget.

Yes, tell China to shove the Olympics up its ass!

Get out of Tibet or get out of civilized modern life

--------------------------------------------------------------------------


Patronize our proud Olympic sponsors;

after all, they patronize you -- as morons without morals.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good news that the Harper Conservative Government rewarded winning Olympic Athletes with big cash grants!

Such news came almost in the same week that Dick Pound, the Olympic drug-watch chief, resigned, probably in despair. Pound stepped down as one of the most hated persons in Olympic officialdom. It was on Pound’s watch that someone first declared, “Every Olympic sport is dirty.” Nobody wants to hear Pound’s message about drug-free competition…because many, if not most, athletes are shooting up faster than scummy back-alley doctors can peddle hypodermics.

I personally have no problem whatsoever with morons injecting themselves with HGF and gobbing steroids until their tits explode.

As long as we don’t call their injection-site gym meetings “the Olympics,” why then I will personally contribute to the Canadian Olympic Tiddlywinks Team.

As soon as officials rename the games honestly and call it what it is:

The 2008 Beijing World Youth Drug Trials.

Because that’s precisely what the Olympics have become and are going to be.

Besides, I can’t think of better role models for sports-loving young children than ego-athletes who hog-swallow steroids to win.

Noble Olympic contenders are sending a clear message that states, “Boys & Girls, the way to win in life is to pump illegal drugs into your body.”

It is reflective and thoughtful that Prime Minister Stephen Harper and his born-again Conservative brain trust have chosen this sacred moment in the history of sport to support steroid use among the pole-vaulting classes.

As for those who whine that we should not ask Olympic athletes to give up anything for others - I guess we shouldn't. If ever there was a class of persons of selfish and obsessed nature, it is competitive athletes. Did you ever see that tv interview with the gargantuan female weightlifter? The interviewer asked her, "Don't you worry that ingesting all these illegal and dangerous drugs will harm your health, maybe even kill you at the age of 30?" Said the Lady Mountain, "I don't give a damn about what happens to me at 30, pal. I wanta feel Olympic gold in my hands now. And I don't mind telling you: nothing else on earth matters to me."

The sick puppy brigade speaks.

Some model for youth!


Thursday April 10 Update

The hubris and overweening arrogance of the International Olympic Committee would take the breath away from an unmarathoned runner. The IOC fumbled big time in selecting the world criminal country of China to host this summer's Olympics. In the face of worldwide mass criticism, in nay-saying numbers never seen in the modern history of the Olympic Games, the IOC, with the icy sang froid of a Grand Inquisitor airily sentencing an eight-year-old child to be burned as a witch, the IOC budges not one centimeter. Much like Ming the Merciless in the old “Flash Gordon” movie serials, this new president Jacques Rogge bids fair to out-snot that former preposterous Spanish Grandee who strutted about for years, Don Juan Antonio Samaranch de Paella de Gazpacho for Brains.



Boycott Corporate Olympic Sponsors Now!

One way to get a message across to these peddlers of billion-dollar profit is to boycott conglomerate businesses that support the Olympics. All you have to do is note down the names of corporate sponsors of the Olympics who have made not the slightest effort to denounce China's dictatorial horrors in Darfur and Tibet: McDonalds, Coca-Cola, General Electric, Lenovo and Samsung, to name but a few of the cynical profit-takers.

Then STOP BUYING THEIR PRODUCTS at the same time that you drop them an e-mail, chiding them for their pathetic records as corporate world citizens.

Baby Seals Clubbed To Death? Why not Their Fishermen Too?

BEFORE

AFTER

New Tips on How to Rescue Drowning Seal-Clubbers

When Atlantic fishermen are drowning at sea while trying to club and skin baby seals, I have come forth with new rules of compassion, in line with the sympathy shown to the little pups by the big, brave fishermen.

Seal-fur harvesters have introduced new kindly means of seal murder. Now the fisherman is supposed to grab the defenseless baby seal and club it five, six, seven times on the head. Don’t just watch the blood and brain spurt over the baby’s white fur. Make sure those vicious, dangerous little bundles of fur are dead. ‘Cause when you try to skin them and they are still half alive, they squirm and twist in agony, and, jeez, those ingrate seal pups can make you destroy the usefulness of their fur and skin. So club ‘em good. Bash those baby brains out on the ice floe. Slam their skulls to smithereens. Go ahead, it’s fun.

I recommend the same procedure for drowning seal fishermen. As they cling pathetically to the side of the rescue boat, bash those glugging guys good with iron pipes. Make fishermen-brains fly like fireworks into the salty waves. Smash those skulls. Have human meningal tissue floating on the sea wind, me hearty sea-dogs! Smash ‘n’ Bash is best. Brain soup for the nibbling tuna tonight, lads!

NOTE: To preserve decorum and legality, this brain-bashing should be done by government officials only. The officials should all be burly men dressed in drag to resemble Brigitte Bardot.

Stephen Harper's Conservative Government Lets This Happen Every Spring.

You have a good day now.

Soldiers Are Like Seals; Kill Them: We got Lots!

Do you need proof that the Prime Minister of Canada and his heartless, bully Conservative government does not understand animal rights? Remember that lying obscene government photo of Harper cuddling a little kitten?

Let’s see Captain BeefGut cuddle a baby seal!

The same week that Prime Minister Fat-Blat is in Romania chowing down on four dozen perogis per meal, rounding up more soldiers to be slaughtered in Afghanistan, Harper also sends word to keep gushing baby seals' brains over the ice floes. Canadian solders, to Stephen Harper, are much like baby seals. There's lotsa them. Who gives a fuck if a few get slaughtered? Maybe we could use the oil squeezed from the baby seal carcasses to lubricate the hearses that bear the blown-apart bodies of Canadian soldiers down the Highway of Heroes?

Remember, Canadians, you elected this rightwing rep of the undead.

Harper should stay over there. Harper would be perfectly at home at any Transylvanian motel. His bat boy could sleep outside with a cross made of garlic.

Anyhoo, here is a current story about what happens to you in Canada if you disagree with Stephen Harper's Schlact-Polizei.

Government To Arrest & Imprison Baby Seal Slaughter Protesters

The Canadian Press

April 3, 2008

ST. JOHN'S — Federal Fisheries Minister Loyola Hearn says charges will be laid in connection with an alleged incident involving the seal hunt protest vessel Farley Mowat.

Sealers contend that the vessel came too close to them on the ice north of Cape Breton last weekend, even after being warned away by the Coast Guard.

Mr. Hearn asserted in an interview with radio station VOCM that the conservation groups broke a law that requires them to maintain a specific distance from the hunt.

“They've been very cute. These people are smart. They've been around. They know the law. They know how they can flaunt it,” Hearn said.

“However, they push it and in some cases, recently, they've broken it. They cannot approach within half a mile of our sealers. They have done that.”

Protest leader Paul Watson, president of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, has denied allegations that the Farley Mowat got too close to the hunt and insists his ship was rammed twice by the coast guard icebreaker Des Groseilliers on the weekend.

The Farley Mowat is currently in St. Pierre-Miquelon and remains out of Canadian waters.

Mr. Watson said the 54-metre long ship was intentionally hit in the stern while stopped.

The coast guard, however, countered that the Arctic-class icebreaker Des Groseilliers was “grazed” twice by the Farley Mowat.

Mr. Hearn issued a statement earlier this week suggesting the Farley Mowat was trying to provoke a confrontation.

"Keep Killin' Them Wogs Fer a Hunnert Year," says McCain

The Perfectability of Presidential Man

“The larger the mob, the harder the test. In small areas, before small electorates, a first-rate man occasionally fights his way through, carrying even the mob with him by force of his personality. But when the field is nationwide, and the fight must be waged chiefly at second and third hand, and the force of personality cannot so readily make itself felt, then all the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre — the man who can most easily adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum.

The Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”

(in the Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920)

written by H.L. Mencken, American newspaper editor & linguist, founder of The American Mercury, known as “The Sage of Baltimore” and the scourge of the booboisie in the early part of the twentieth century

Current Internet Falsehood & a Pope Note

Yes, the internet is hoax-choked and, like befouled clothing, stained with shit-brindle streaks of deceit. But that does not mean that soap is not handy.

A Duck Quacking Its Way Across the Internet

One current canard is a claim that Al Gore said somewhere that he invented the internet. The pro-pollution, business spokes-weasels who claim this as a true statement never stoop to give the exact quotation from Mr. Gore or the location of the quote.

The weasels avoid the word-for-word for one very good reason: Al Gore never said anything even remotely similar to that claim.

The false quotation myth was invented by enviro-ostriches (people with their heads in the oil sands) who would like to discredit Mr. Gore the easy way. By making things up.

And that’s what these quacks wish to do with the future of the earth.

Pretend it will all be lovely.

These are the same, rapture-awaiting born-again morons who piss on evolution.

You know, uneducated white trash.

Like the pope who just last week assured us that stem-cell research and any scientific procedure that tinkered with – YIKES! - genetics was the devil’s work. That’s the same Popelet who told an awaiting earth a few months ago that the North American aboriginal peoples were actually EAGER for Roman Catholic priests to arrive in the New World so they could destroy native religions and install a healthy, natural worship like Roman Catholicism.

Wow! That is such a deep thought that I’ll have to take a refreshment break now and a drink. I'm fresh out of Kool-Aid, by jimbo! Oh, wait, here's something in this goblet. Why it's the blood of a crucified Jewish carpenter’s son. I think it's the diet version. Guaranteed not to stain a soldier's cloak.

Wait a minute!

That thing beside the cup of blood, is that my liverwurst sandwich?

No. It’s part of Christ’s body. Maybe some eggs ‘n’ mashed lung.

Really, it is.

The pope told me so.

But, hey, let's say something positive about Roman Catholics.

One newspaper in Rome said the Vatican has finally found a sound method of keeping priests from diddling altar boys. Papal wranglers are trying to interest His Holiness in issuing a quickie encyclical, Peni et Weeni, enjoining all priests to masturbate only with a handful of steel wool. The resultant penile abrasions should keep the priestly dicks so covered with bandages, that, by the time the randy fathers have peeled those band-aids off, most altar boys will have made their escape.

Sounds like a plan.